My Book

The Good is in the Getting. Everything is NOT a means to an end. You should enjoy your path along the way. And that’s what I learned to do. That’s one of the ways lupus changed me for the better. It’s why I so adamantly wanted to change my career. And to find a career that was on the path of happiness for me. I wanted to feel happy, and stress-free, every day. A tall order. But doable. But not going to happen overnight, and most likely not going to happen without support. Certainly not with degradation. Surround yourself with positive people. That’s a whole other chapter. Being happy in your job and in your life is an achievable goal. I encourage you, especially those of you with a chronic illness, to find a way to make money while at the same time experiencing joy. We all know a “joy job” isn’t going to be perfect. And maybe we start with the baby step of reducing our stress. But all in all, a joy job should make you feel good inside, and you should look back and say, this is the happiest I’ve ever been at a job. And you should realize, “I haven’t wanted to quit once (or multiple times, lol)!” Those are my markers:  when I’m feeling down about my job, I quickly pull all the memories that tell me that at ANY previous job, I was in such discontent that I was always looking for something else.

So, in your life, your job, your family, your home, please live by “the good is in the getting”.

Control yourself with your “perfection urges” when you’ve completed a project and think to yourself, “OK: that’s it; I’m done.” It is good enough (and maybe it’s actually good!) Will anybody care when you’re dead? Will you? Maybe a better way to phrase it is this: when you’re old, will you look back and care about how “perfect” it was? Will you even remember? No. So keep that in the back of your mind to KEEP YOURSELF IN CHECK.

Another self-check tip I received was, “itty-bitty-bitty”. When you feel reluctant to do a task (or finish one), just get it done! The goal is to get it done. Not perfect. Done. Keep it light, and keep it fluid. Think to yourself, “I’m going to just do an itty bitty bitty job. Whatever”. That takes the pressure off! Like it’s no big deal. Another great tip from my therapist. Again, done is better than perfect.

This is a biggie. Don’t feel like you don’t have will power if you don’t do something. Just start. Then put it in your schedule. Write it down. Then you’ll do it. No detours. Schedule things!

Besides, once you start something, it’s hard to stop! Once you start doing it for a few days, you’ve established a pattern. Your schedule becomes easy. Like clockwork.

Schedules ARE your will power. You’re artificially creating your will power. (And it sticks!) Ha!

+ Don’t get too hungry! Then you tend to overeat. I do.

+ Start and finish each meal with salad. After a while, you’ll start to crave it.

+ We CRAVE what we EAT! When you are hungry, eat an apple. It will TRAIN YOUR BRAIN to want apples when hungry.

+ Drink LOTS OF WATER, all day! Get ahead of the hunger. It’s good for you, plus it fills you up. In addition, sometimes when we feel hungry we’re actually just dehydrated.

While Eating:

+ Drink water between each bite.

+ Put your fork down between each bite.

+ CHERISH, think about, enjoy each bite of food. Say to yourself, “salmon”. “Salad”, “olives” as you eat it.

+ SLEEP IS KEY. I feel WAY better, and different, like a different PERSON when I’ve had proper sleep.

+ Out of sight, out of mind. For your trigger foods (tempting foods that are bad for you – for me, it’s chips, anything salty, and coke); put it OUT OF YOUR HOUSE or at least in a spot that’s not easy to get to (under your basement stairs, in the cold room, in the garage, etc.) Make it HARD to get at and make it out of sight. Hide it from you. That will help you not even know it’s there. It won’t be an option.

+ EAT PROTEIN WITH YOUR MEALS. Even if it’s just 4 almonds; be mindful of always adding protein. Besides, in terms of almonds, that’s all it takes!

Don’t overdo protein. Studies show the human body processes about 0.8 grams of protein per kilogram of body weight (0.36 grams per pound). Overdoing protein can be harmful to our kidneys, too. This is especially relevant for those with kidney involvement or diabetes.

Before we begin, I want you to keep these with you at the forefront of your mind and write them down in your pocket. They will set you up for success.

1. Do what you can, when you can.

2. Be gentle on yourself. This means emotionally and physically. This is a gentle exercise program. Be gentle on your self, too.

3. Slow and low: slow tempo, low range of motion (ROM). Slow tempo is important, so as to keep you safe during the workout. For ROM, start low, and increase from there. Ideally we want full range of motion of each joint. But start with low ROM. Remember, slow and steady wins the race.

4. Underdo rather than overdo: you want to feel like you worked out, not be sore. Or at first, not feel anything at all. We must prevent injury. We want your new lifestyle to be a repetitive pattern: one that is lifelong and sustainable. You should be able to do at age 90 what you’re doing now. So you’re building for that. It’s training, for the long-haul.